Where Forever Lies Read online

  Where Forever Lies

  A Sweet Haven Trilogy

  By Tara Neideffer

  Disclaimer

  This book is a work of fiction. The characters, names, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2014 by Tara Neideffer

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever.

  Edited by Dragonfly Editing

  Cover art by Najla Qamber Designs

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Dedicated to those who have lost and loved.

  Prologue

  In the distance the phone rang.

  In her dream a leafy vine blew towards her. She caught it and then watched as it broke from her fingertips and sailed away into the darkness. She turned her head and watched it float with the wind, falling to the pavement a little ways behind her.

  The sound of ringing drifted through Paige Griffin’s mind, again. It was muffled and far away and she was too tired to wake up and answer it, but it would not stop ringing. It felt like it had been ringing for hours.

  Her mind was still in the fuzzy haze of her dream and she was running from something. She didn’t have any shoes on and she was still in her pajamas as she ran. The only thing she heard was her bare feet slapping against the blacktop. It was nighttime and the air was hot and sticky as it clung to her skin. There was something terrible trying to get to her and all she wanted to do was run away. If she got away, whatever it was would not be able to find its way to her and bare its ugly truth.

  She was missing something though. She felt an undeniable absence in her life and almost stopped where she was to go look for it. There was something that was gone, that she needed. Whatever was gone was important to her.

  The phone rang again.

  She finally woke up completely, looked over at the clock, and wondered who could possibly be calling at two fifteen in the morning. She lay there willing it to stop. It finally did and she breathed thank you to the wonderful sound of silence as she rolled over and pulled the covers up to her chin and quickly drifted back to sleep. After only a second, the phone started again. She groaned and decided to answer it before it woke up her daughter Kyra.

  Whoever is calling had better have a good reason, she thought.

  Aggravated, she shoved the covers off, got out of bed, readjusted her pajama bottoms which were uncomfortably crooked, and trudged down the hall to the living room.

  “Hello,” she moaned, irritated and still half asleep.

  “Paige?”

  “Yeah.” It took her a moment to realize who it was but then her tired brain connected the soft voice to the person. “Kyleigh, is that you?”

  “I’m s... s... s... sorry I’m calling so late, but something has happened that I think you should know about,” Kyleigh choked out, her words coming out in a mumbled slur, sounding like they were full of tears.

  Paige thought she sounded either upset or drunk and figured she and her boyfriend, Brad, must have gotten into another argument, because that’s usually why Kyleigh would call her this late. “What’s wrong?” she asked as she rubbed her tired eyes, hoping it was nothing too serious. She couldn’t count the nights she had stayed up late with Kyleigh, talking about guy problems while they drank coffee. She took a seat on the couch, knowing by the way she was acting that this was going to be one of those long nights.

  Kyleigh took a deep breath and blew it out. “Well, um, Randy was in a serious motorcycle wreck tonight and, well I don’t know how to say this Paige... but, oh my God, Paige, he didn’t make it. I’m so sorry to tell you over the phone but I thought you needed to know as soon as possible before you see it on the news in the morning. I was hanging out with David earlier when he got the phone call. I told him I would tell you before someone else did.” She sniffled and there was a ruffling on the phone as she wiped at her nose.

  “What? What do you mean he’s dead?” Paige yelled, not believing what she was saying. It couldn’t be true. This was just a misunderstanding, that’s all. There’s no way Kyra’s dad just died, he was only twenty-four years old, she was wrong.

  Wrong!

  “You’re wrong, Kyleigh. You must not have heard the person right,” Paige yelled, and then lowered her voice to where it was just a whisper, “It’s not possible.”

  “Paige... No, I’m sorry, but it’s true...”

  As Paige got up and started pacing the living room, her mind flashed to memories of him. She heard Kyleigh in the distance, mumbling something, but she couldn’t make her mind listen to what she was saying. Her mind was drifting, sailing away into a blur of confusion. She felt lost and she felt the hot tears rolling down her face. She shoved her fist into her mouth to stifle her sobs. She couldn’t wake Kyra up now and let her see her this way. Her stomach churned from the shocking news and she found herself pushing the end button on the phone without saying goodbye. She sat down on her couch and curled herself up into a ball. Her living room was dark—just like her thoughts—and for hours she just sat there, feeling numb. She was alone, the only thing keeping her company were her haunting memories.

  What was she going to tell Kyra?

  Chapter 1

  Nothing in this world can prepare you for the sorrow that comes when a loved one is yanked unexpectedly from your life. At the moment, Paige knew that feeling like the back of her hand. That feeling was crawling around inside her body and making a home there. It had been a rough couple of days since she’d found out the devastating news about Randy, and as she looked at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, she grimaced at the sight of her tired eyes. She had been crying constantly since she’d found out, the tears didn’t seem like they ever wanted to stop. She was so shocked and overwhelmed at what had happened that she couldn’t sleep for the past few days, and when she had tried, she only tossed and turned, trying to keep the nightmares from coming up from the depths of her mind.

  She glanced down the hall at her daughter playing on the floor with her toys, and smiled. Kyra was sitting on an old striped pea green rug that her grandmother had passed down to her. It looked out of place in a young woman’s home but she couldn’t bear the thought of getting rid of it. Her toys were sprawled all over the rug and she was jabbering to herself as she played make believe with two stuffed ponies, a thin strand of drool slowly dripped from her small mouth. She looked so sweet and innocent, but at only three-years-old, they usually did. Paige loved the way her red curls hung just slightly above the shoulders, and wished it would stay that way forever, but knew that it wouldn’t. Watching her daughter made too many painful memories resurface and she quickly turned away to continue getting ready.

  She loosely curled her own long, brown hair, put on a little make-up to cover her red puffy face, brushed her
teeth, and thought about what she was getting ready for, another funeral. This would be her second one in six months. The first had been her friend, Natasha, who had, unfortunately, committed suicide. And now, it was her daughter’s father, Randy. Even though they had not been seeing each other for the past year, she still felt an overwhelming sadness for the loss in her and Kyra’s life. Randy had been her first love, he had given her a beautiful daughter and he would forever hold a special place in her heart. Her little girl would never get the chance to know her father; and Paige could already feel her daughter’s unknown hurt wrapping around her heart, squeezing and tightening, festering inside her until that horrible day came when she would have to tell her what had happened.

  She snatched up her purse and keys from the counter and leaned down to pick up her daughter. Kyra raised her arms obediently, her big blue eyes looking up into Paige’s as she said, “Mommy, bye-bye?”

  “Yes, honey. Come on, we have to leave now,” Paige said, as she lifted her curly haired daughter into her arms. What was she going to tell her when she was old enough to understand what had happened? That when she was three her father died and left them both behind? She wondered what type of impact it would have on her and how she would cope with the emotional burden when she was older. She sighed, miserable at the idea of explaining it all when she was old enough and having to see the pain in her little face. She walked across the room to the front door of her apartment, and as she shut the door to her life behind her, she couldn’t help but think about starting a better life for her and Kyra. She just didn’t know where to begin.

  Thirty minutes later, she pulled into her mom’s driveway and saw a huge smile appear on Kyra’s face when she saw her grandma come walking out the front door.

  Susan Griffin stood on the front porch smiling warmly while resting her plump hands on her hips. She had been eagerly anticipating spending time with her granddaughter today, but wished it was under better circumstances. A slight gust of wind blew strands of dark hair across her face, and she absently swiped them away. She moseyed painfully out to the driveway to greet them as they came to a stop, her hand reaching down and rubbing her right knee as her arthritis began to flare up.

  “Mamaw!” Kyra yelled anxiously.

  “Hi, honey. Are you ready to spend time with mamaw?” Susan asked as she waved to Kyra who was enthusiastically jumping up and down in her car seat.

  “Mamaw! Mamaw!” Kyra yelled again, squirming in her seat.

  “Yes, honey, I see her, now hold on so I can get you out,” Paige said, looking up at her mom with a haggard smile as she reached in to pull Kyra out, while dodging a flailing tiny hand. “I shouldn’t be long. Kyleigh and I don’t plan on staying too long after they do the burial,” Paige said, as she walked up to her mom and handed Kyra over.

  “Oh, don’t rush, we’ll be fine. Won’t we, Kyra?” Kyra, now calmed down, tiredly shook her head, yes. “So, has anyone called to see how you are doing, or just to give you any details?” her mother asked cautiously, doing her best to avoid saying anything about the incident at the showing yesterday and knowing that after she and Randy had broken up most of his family didn’t want anything to do with them.

  “Well, David did call the other night to see how we were doing and to see if I was bringing Kyra to the funeral, but other than that, no one else. If it wasn’t for Kyleigh and David, I probably wouldn’t have found out about it until I saw it in the papers. He’s the only one who ever calls on that side of the family anyway.” She let the last sentence slowly trail off as she opened her car door and propped her leg on the edge of the interior.

  “Well, it’s their loss isn’t it?” Susan said sympathetically, the corners of her mouth turning down in disappointment.

  “Yeah, it is. I tell myself that all the time, trying to make myself feel better about the situation and about Kyra not knowing that side of her family, but sometimes it’s hard to deal with. Especially going through something like this. I tried, but it’s their decision whether or not they want to be involved now.” Paige traced her finger along the blue paint of her car, fighting to keep the tears from falling again.

  Kyra smiled and bounced her hand up and down, clumsily waving bye to her mother.

  She brushed her thoughts aside for now and waved to her daughter. “Bye, honey, I love you,” Paige said as she blew Kyra a kiss. “Well, I’d better get going. I don’t want to show up late.”

  “Don’t worry Paige, things will get easier, whether you believe that or not. You’ve done well for yourself and for Kyra, I’m proud of you,” Susan said, reaching up and pulling Paige into a hug.

  “Thanks, Mom, that means a lot to me,” Paige said as she waved to Kyra one last time before she got in her car. It was too early to already be in a bad mood, but with all the stress and grief, she couldn’t help it.

  As she backed out of the driveway, she wondered if her decision to not take Kyra to the funeral was the right one. She had taken her to the showing to let her pay her respects, not that she understood it all, but Paige felt it was the right thing to do and Kyra had fussed around the entire time.

  ♥♥♥

  Driving down the curvy roads of Sweet Haven, Tennessee, her mind couldn’t help but replay yesterday’s unpleasant incident. Trying to try to talk to Sharon, Randy’s mother, for the first time in a long time had turned out to be a big mistake. She knew Sharon didn’t like her, but she wanted to give her condolences anyway, and hopefully make amends for their broken past. But Sharon didn’t want anything to do with her or Kyra, and blatantly ignored them as she turned her nose up and walked away while Paige had been in midsentence. She shook her head in disgust as she thought about the situation, blowing out a frustrated breath as she drove furiously around each curve in the road. It was obvious his mother didn’t want anything to do with Kyra and that was her loss. She got the hint now, and was not going to beg her to be in Kyra’s life.

  She tapped her fingers irritably on the steering wheel as she drove, feeling her stomach churn as she relived the hurt from yesterday, knowing she’d have to face the same people again today. She never would have thought someone could be so heartless. But the showing was the last straw, and she was not going to make any more attempts at reconciling with her. She had enough of her own family around supporting her that his family’s nonexistence would not hinder her or Kyra. She liked to pretend that was true, but she knew Kyra would ask questions later and she would have to tell her something. She sighed as she slowed down for a stop sign, feeling all the tension start to form a headache.

  Paige didn’t know the reason why Sharon felt the need to act this way towards her; she knew she had never done anything to her. The fact that she and Randy were relatively young when they had Kyra is the only thing she could think of. And if Sharon just didn’t like her, she didn’t know why she would have nothing to do with Kyra. It just didn’t make sense. Paige remembered Randy talking about his mom’s drinking habit... but still, she didn’t know why that would affect her relationship with Kyra. She figured in time she would come around, she just hoped it wouldn’t be a tug of war game with Kyra.

  She watched the wooded scenery fade as she got into town, replaced with fast food joints and shopping centers, and felt the anxiety begin to rise the closer she got to the church where the funeral was to be held. Coming to a stoplight, she nervously tugged on the collar of her light blue blouse that paired with her funeral black slacks and black sandals. She grimaced at all the bad memories and finally turned into Sander’s Addition towards her friend’s house.

  As she pulled into the driveway, she saw Kyleigh open the door and slowly walk out, her head hung low and a Kleenex clutched in her hand. Kyleigh, usually energetic and vibrant, looked tired and lifeless. Paige could empathize with her, but hated to see her friend that way. They were both wearing their grief on their faces. Kyleigh’s tan complexion looked pale and her brown eyes were red from crying. Paige gave her a half-hearted smile once she was inside. “Hey, you d
oing okay?”

  “Oh, I guess so. How are you? Did you sleep okay last night?” Kyleigh asked, knowing that after Natasha’s suicide Paige had had horrible nightmares for weeks. Her feelings and emotions about death seemed to haunt her the most when she was asleep and her guards were down.

  The nightmares seemed to linger forever and Paige wondered if they would ever end. There had not been any dreams in the past few months, and she somewhat missed them. Even though they were usually terrible dreams, it made Paige feel closer to Natasha, and she would take the nightmares over nothing at all.

  It had been six months since that incident, but Paige was still grieving from her friend’s abrupt death. She thought about her almost every day and wondered what had driven her to kill herself. Things had been tough for Natasha sometimes, but Paige never thought it would have led to suicide. If she had known, she would have tried to do something, anything, to change her mind.

  “No nightmares yet, and hopefully none are on their way anytime soon,” Paige said as she backed her Toyota out of the blacktop driveway. She felt that she was ending a chapter in her life and moving on to a new unwritten one. She saw a future with many uncertainties and a lot of adjustments ahead.

  Once they finally pulled into the parking lot, dread seeped into her veins and coursed through her body. She knew she would not have been able to go through another funeral if Kyleigh wasn’t by her side, it would have been too difficult. At only twenty-three she shouldn’t have two people close to her already dead. They were supposed to have lived a full life, but instead it had been cut dramatically short. Life was completely unfair sometimes. She looked over at her friend, feeling the panic settle in her stomach and begin to take root there, causing her to feel nauseous. She turned to Kyleigh and asked, “Well, are you ready to go in?” She pulled some lip gloss out of her purse and absently applied it to her lips. It was a habit that she had yet to break.