Fragile Simplicity Read online

  She felt him lean closer, and felt his warm breath tickle her cheek as he said, “You don’t need to be scared of what you feel for me, Ky. If you knew how much I love you, there wouldn’t be any apprehension crossing your mind. You would trust your feelings and the feelings I have for you.”

  That word trust rushed back into her mind from many years ago. But this time it was in her father’s rough voice, not David’s gentle one. “This is for your own good, do you trust me?” he had said, the pungent smell of alcohol had hit her in the face that night, right before his hand. The smell was almost as strong as his hand, but the smell didn’t leave a mark like his hand had, at least not physically. But she could still smell the alcohol almost as if he were standing right here in the bedroom with her. At the time, she had actually trusted him, thought she deserved her punishment, thought she had been a bad girl, but then it started happening all the time, times when she didn’t even do anything wrong, and that’s when her trust for her parents disappeared. It had been sucked up into the filthy, stale air of their dirty, cockroach-infested ranch home.

  What she had done that night to deserve the black eye, she couldn’t even remember. Why her mother never did anything about it, she never knew. But she did remember that she was seven at the time, because the day before was her birthday and it was the only day of the year that she would get anything from her parents, other than punishment or neglect. The letter crossed her mind again, but she didn’t want to think about these memories anymore. She was supposed to be shoving them back like she had always done, though it seemed to be harder now.

  Her forehead creased as her thoughts swam deep, contemplating her reasons for being scared to have feelings for David. He was a good guy, so what was the problem? Her thoughts drifted back to her childhood, which had been filled with so much pain and mistrust. She had never trusted her parents, and if a child couldn’t trust them, could they ever really feel safe trusting anyone else? She realized she had now grown up to become a woman who trusted very few people. She had never had a reason to be scared to show her true feelings to a guy before, because there had yet to be a guy she wanted to show them to. But now, looking at David lying next to her, his eyes full of warmth and tenderness that she wasn’t used to, she realized opening up to a guy was harder than she thought it would be. It was the complete opposite of what she’d seen as a child or what she’d had with Brad. This felt real.

  Finally, she said, “If you only knew what my childhood was like, you’d understand.”

  Squeezing her hand, he looked deep in her eyes, and said, “Why don’t you tell me about your childhood so maybe I can understand. You’ve never really told me anything about your past.”

  Her eyes darted away from him and around the room, landing on a picture of Randy that sat on the dresser in the far corner. She wondered how he was really dealing with losing his brother so suddenly. He never really talked about it. She played with the corner of the pillow case, not knowing where to begin, or if she even wanted to begin anything. No one knew anything about her life, not even Paige or Brooke. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust them; she just didn’t want people to feel sorry for her and she didn’t want to talk about it. The only snippet of her past she’d told Paige had been half a lie. She’d said her dad had left her when she was nine and that she was contemplating finding him. He had left her but the scenario was quite different than what Paige probably envisioned.

  She didn’t know how she was ever going to fully connect with David if he didn’t know the basic things about her life. Like, why she’s the person she is today, which is because of her past. The past molds you into who you are, and if he wanted to be with her, he deserved to know why she was the way she was. Why she freaked out about the fight. Why she’d been making her comments every time he drank. It all stemmed from her childhood.

  Blowing out a breath, she began, “Let’s just say that I had a rough childhood that didn’t involve very much love, so it’s hard for me to let the affectionate side of myself out. I don’t know how to act when you’re so sweet and gentle towards me. It’s just so foreign, it’s almost like I feel I don’t deserve it.” She laughed, knowing how stupid that sounded to a normal person. Everyone deserved to be treated with respect and love.

  He was quiet for a long moment and she gave him a sideways look, not sure what was going through his head. His face had become tense, a serious look taking over the relaxed, loving one from a few moments ago, and she was angry with herself for even bringing any of it up. That look he was giving her was the one she had wanted to avoid her whole life. She hadn’t intended on ruining the night with her pathetic back story.

  “So, did your parents abuse you?” he questioned, his voice having a dull tone to it. She figured she didn’t have to say it for him to read between the lines. It was probably pretty obvious now.

  She swallowed, not wanting to continue with this conversation anymore. She scooted towards the edge of the bed to get up, and paused with her legs hanging off the side and her eyes fastened on the tan carpet. After several seconds, she looked over her shoulder and said, “Something like that, my father was a raging alcoholic, to put it lightly. But it’s nothing, David, really. I don’t want to get into it all tonight. What we just experienced was wonderful and I don’t want to end it with useless crap that can’t be changed. So, please, let’s drop it, okay?” Her eyes matched the pleading in her voice as she stared back at him.

  When he nodded slightly, she got up and began searching for her clothes. She looked back over her shoulder to see him still lying in the same spot, deep in thought. Grabbing his boxers off the floor, she tossed them towards him, hoping to wake him out of his wandering thoughts.

  He caught it without even looking and finally pulled himself out of bed and got dressed. She noticed his jaw was tight, and his shoulders were tense, it was the same look he’d had in the parking lot when those guys had come over, looking for trouble. She hoped he wasn’t about to explode, but then she felt his arms around her waist and his lips pressing against her neck as he kissed her, and she felt herself relax, knowing he had calmed down for now.

  “I wish I could have been there back then, so I could have done something about it. I’m sorry for whatever you had to deal with, Ky.”

  She leaned her head back against him, feeling the warmth radiating from his body, and the rise and fall of his chest. She closed her eyes for a moment as she lost herself in his touch and then said, “Thank you, David. Even though you weren’t there, it’s nice to know that someone cares enough to have done something back then if they could.”

  He held her tightly against him and walked her backwards to the bed. As they pulled the covers over them, and he held her close, she had never felt so safe in her entire life.

  Chapter 6

  Falling Behind

  The sun’s rays fell across his face, causing him to wake from a deep sleep. David opened his eyes and glanced at the clock, wincing when he saw it was only seven in the morning. His head was pounding from all the alcohol last night and, more than likely, from the broken nose. Knowing he couldn’t go back to sleep when his head felt like it was ready to explode, he slowly got out of bed, trying his best not to wake Kyleigh. Pulling on a pair of jeans and a white shirt, he walked down the hall towards the kitchen, on the hunt for some coffee and ibuprofen.

  After the coffee began trickling out, he opened the cabinet and pulled out the ibuprofen, along with a glass. He turned the faucet on and filled the glass up, popped a couple of pills into his mouth, and washed them down, hoping relief would soon be on its way.

  The sputtering of the coffee told him it was time to get his cup ready, and once it was filled with the dark, rich liquid, he made his way out the door and to his shop, which sat next to his house. Each time his foot collided with the pavement, he gritted his teeth as his head pounded. He hated how alcohol made him feel the next day, but he loved how it made him feel at the time, how it took away all the emotions that dragged him under.
He thought about the promise he had made to Kyleigh last night to slow down on his drinking¸ and hoped it was something he could do. He hadn’t really been honest with her at the time, though, with how much alcohol had taken hold of him. But after what she’d said about her father, and how he was an abusive alcoholic, he now understood why she had made all the comments lately about his drinking. She was probably terrified she was going to end up with a drunk like her father. He knew he had to stop drinking, no matter if his mind told him otherwise.

  He kicked an empty beer can along the sidewalk that led to his shop and pulled out his keys to unlock the door. As he stepped in and saw the ten Harley’s waiting on him, he realized how far behind in his work he actually was. Had the alcohol really clouded his judgment that much?

  He knelt down beside a white Harley and ran his finger along the chrome. This bike reminded him of Randy’s, except Randy’s had the tall handle bars, and this bike’s handle bars were shorter. Everything else was exactly the same, and the memory felt like a blow to his already aching head. The memory of that last night with his brother came crawling back into his head, biting at his sobriety again.

  “Oh yeah, bro, you gonna tell me how to live my life when you don’t even have your shit together? I don’t need to listen to your bullshit,” Randy had said that night, before staggering off to his Harley. The sharp smell of vodka that came from his breath had burned David’s nose and he had to take a step back.

  “Randy, man, you are missing out on so much; if you’d just get your head out of that Vodka bottle. That’s what I’m worried about,” David had yelled after him. He watched as Randy had shaken his head before revving up his Harley, it had been loud enough that a neighbor had turned on their porch light to see what was going on outside. With one final look, Randy had taken off, spewing gravel all over the place. David had had to cover his face with his hand to keep from getting hit.

  He concentrated on the chrome of the bike in front of him, trying to block out the memory. He should have stopped him that night, but instead he’d watched him leave, nothing but a drunken mess on the back of a white Harley. He missed his brother more than he admitted even to himself. Most days he tried to ignore the pain, hoping it’d just go away on its own. But when it didn’t, that’s when he’d turn to the alcohol.

  He took a sip of coffee and wished it was beer instead. At least beer would dull his headache and the painful memories. He stood up, set his coffee mug on a table, and had just decided there was no time like the present to get to work, when his phone rang.

  “Hello,” he said, as he pulled out a couple of wrenches, the clanging sound echoing loudly against the empty garage.

  “David, how’s it going, man?” came a hoarse voice on the other end.

  “Hey, Scott, what’s up?” he asked, even though he knew exactly what he wanted. The guy wanted his bike fixed. The bike that was supposed to have been fixed last week; but David had kept putting it off because every day he’d wake up with the worst hangover ever, end up drinking more to ease the pain, and then end up not doing any of the work he was supposed to do. He glanced over at the gold Harley sitting off in the corner, far from done, and knew Scott was going to be pissed.

  “My bike done, yet?”

  And there was the million dollar question that David knew was coming. He ran a hand through his hair, feeling his head throb even more. “It’s gettin' there. Not much longer,” he said, hoping he could stall him for another couple of days. That should give him plenty of time to get it fixed.

  “Yep, that’s what you said last week. David, I want my bike fixed by Wednesday. I have a ride I’m going on next weekend and I have to have my bike. Got it?” he asked in a harsh tone that matched the rough appearance that he had. Even though he was an older guy, David thought late fifties; he knew he wasn’t the kind you wanted to mess with. It was obvious the guy had been through and seen a lot in his lifetime. David had a feeling he had served a large portion of his life in prison, but he’d never asked the guy. And here David was stalling on fixing his bike.

  “Yeah, sorry man, just runnin’ a little behind, but it’ll be done by Wednesday.” He tossed an old wrench in a drawer and pulled out a smaller one instead.

  “All right, I’m counting on it,” Scott said before hanging up without another word.

  David set the phone down and then headed over to the bike, figuring there wasn’t any better time to get started than now. He couldn’t put it off any longer. He didn’t want Scott any angrier at him than he already was. It wasn’t good for his business.

  The creaking of the door brought his attention up, and he smiled as he saw Kyleigh walk in. Her hair was thrown up in a messy bun and she was wearing one of his white t-shirts that hung down to her knees. He didn’t think she could look any sexier than she did right now; even compared to last night, when she was all made up and wearing a low cut shirt that showed off her cleavage.

  “Good morning, sunshine,” he said as he stood and went to give her a kiss.

  She mumbled a good morning and he laughed, remembering she wasn’t the morning person he was. Well, usually was, whenever alcohol hadn’t worn his body down the next day.

  “Are you already working?” she asked, as she rubbed her eyes, a frown taking over her normally cheery face.

  “Yes, well, trying. Does that surprise you?” he asked as he crossed his arms and leaned against his work station.

  “A little. It’s Sunday, you know,” she stated as she walked around looking at each Harley. She ran her hand along the chrome of the white one, and David thought he noticed a hint of sadness cross her face. He wondered if it reminded her of Randy’s motorcycle as well.

  “You’re staying pretty busy, aren’t you?” she asked as she brought her attention back to him.

  He sighed, remembering the phone call from a few minutes ago. Was he really staying busy, or falling behind which made him look busier than he was? He was guessing the latter, but he was busy enough to make a living off what he was doing, which he loved. “Yeah, you could say I’m staying busy,” he said, glancing around the large garage, full of work that needed to be done.

  “That’s good,” she said as she walked over to one of the Harley’s to the left. It was completely stripped of any paint, waiting for him to turn it into something. “What’s up with this one?” she asked, pointing at it.

  “That one,” he began as he walked over to stand beside her, “is my newest project. I’m going to repaint it and paint this design on it for a buddy of mine who is putting a lot of trust in me, considering I’ve never done anything like this before.” He pulled out a sketch of a skull with red flames behind it and flames inside the large holes that were the eye sockets.

  She took it in her hands and began looking it over. She was quiet for a few moments and then a smile formed as she looked up at him. “You drew this?” she questioned, holding the paper up towards him as if he’d never seen it before.

  David scratched his head, not sure why it surprised her so much. “Yeah, what do you think?” he asked.

  “I think it’s absolutely incredible. David, I would have never guessed you’d be such an artist like this. You’re really talented,” she said, handing the paper back to him.

  He looked it over, not seeing what the fuss was about. It hadn’t been that hard to draw a skull with flames, but as he examined it longer, he realized there was a lot of minute detail within the drawing. Painting it on the bike was going to be the hard part, though. “Yeah, thanks, but we’ll see how good you think I am when I get it on the bike, that will be the challenge,” he said as he set the drawing on the table.

  “You’ll do great. Do you think you’ll add that into your business?” she asked as she reached out and snagged his coffee mug. She took a sip and then made a disgusted face. “No sugar? What the hell, David?”

  “Black is how I like my coffee. And I don’t know about adding custom paint jobs into my business. I guess I’ll see how things go with this one.” He t
ook the coffee from her hand and took a sip, giving her a smug smile.

  “I need to go get some decent coffee, maybe it’ll help wake me up.”

  He watched her walk off, wondering what it would take to get her back in bed, until his phone rang again. “Hello,” he said, taking another sip of coffee.

  “David, hey, it’s Josh. How’s the progress on my bike going?”

  He sighed, wishing he hadn’t answered it, and feeling the pressure of falling behind in his work take hold. Damn alcohol and damn life. “It’s coming,” he said, giving Kyleigh a look as she walked out the door and towards the house. He didn’t want her to know how behind he really was in his work, more so, the reason why he was so behind.

  “Do you think it’ll be ready this week?” Josh asked and David looked at the bike sitting in the back corner, another one far from done. He hadn’t even started on it yet, and he’d already had the bike three weeks now.

  “Yeah, I’ll have it ready this week,” David said, telling himself he would, and hoping he was listening.

  “Great, let me know as soon as possible. I’m anxious to get some riding in before I start this out of town job.”

  “All right, I will, Josh. I’ll be calling you later this week,” he said, wondering if he was putting himself in more of a bind than before.

  “Thanks, buddy.”

  There was a click as Josh hung up and David set the phone down and let out a deep breath. As he started to get to work, he heard the door open as Kyleigh walked in.

  “Hey, you okay?” she asked, as she brought the coffee mug to her lips.

  He gave her a smile, trying to hide his worries of falling behind, and said, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “Well, you look a little stressed now,” she said as she came up to him. She looked around the garage, taking in all the bikes. “Maybe you need to hire another person. This looks like a lot of work here, and then you need to find time to paint that Harley, which I’m sure will take a lot of time.”